Washing dishes originated as homage to Donna McElroy, my late wife. I am Joseph Franklyn McElroy.  Donna was an black woman of tremendous spirit, creativity, and intellect; I am white. We were together for 18 years, married for 15, and collaborated on business, art, and life. She was originally from Philadelphia (where we met) and I was from the mountains of North Carolina.

When we decided to travel south to visit my family for the first time, she was worried about how she would be accepted by a southern family. She made a decision, not told to me until much later, to ingratiate herself with small acts of service. She understood the racial and gender implications, but she was more concerned about building family relationships. The most significant act of service was to always wash the dishes after a family meal.

Over a number of years, she did indeed become a beloved member of my southern family.  I don’t know if it was her strategy or her natural charm. Regardless, after her death I realized that I had not done the same for her family. In honor of her memory, I went to Philadelphia and asked permission to do a performance with her family where I simply washed the dishes. It was recorded and the above video is edited from the footage.

After talking to many people about the performance, I came to realize that there is universal response to this domestic chore.  So I have created this site, Washing Dishes, to invite people to respond with stories of their own and to form a broader platform where gender roles, race and underlying relationship constructions can be examined. This open source digital artwork will ask viewers not just to look, but to listen and respond.

Through its own action this digital production will market and advertise itself organically through the combination of art, metaphor, performance and community engagement.  And, hopefully, perform as an act of service that properly honors my late wife’s life and memory.